Reviews (118)

A Must-Read for Any Prospective or Adoptive Parent
We frequently refer to this book as a resource as we parent our precious, adopted daughter. It provides third-party anecdotes, personal experience and sound research to give adoptive parents a realistic picture of adoption from the child's perspective. It helps us understand the inevitable and undeniable loss that an adopted child experiences at relinquishment, and offers practical help in helping the child navigate their own unique challenges in dealing with that loss. It is a great read for anyone whose life has been touched by adoption.

Seems like a Whinefest
Okay, I have begun my education into the adoption culture. I think I started with the wrong book. This book, by Sherrie Eldridge, an adoptee herself, seems like a whinefest. The author appears to be using the book as an opportunity to journal her own personal dysfunctional life.

The book makes it appear that all adoptees are emotional wrecks and the main cause is that they are adopted. It really begs the question could it be that your adoptive parents just weren't the greatest? There are plenty of biological children who have the same rotten lives as the author and don't have adoptive parents to blame.

I realize that there are special issues that will come up because our child will be adopted, especially after who knows how many years with his birth parents and at least a year in an orphanage. I recognise that I have a lot to learn about how to handle these issues. But I don't expect to be having pity parties with this child on a weekly basis.

I will finish the book. In spite of it's negative tone, it does hold a few good ideas and concepts about the kinds of things that go through an adoptee's mind and some neat ideas on how to handle them in a positive light. I will not, however, accept the theory put forth in this book that all adoptees are damaged goods purely due to the fact that they are adopted.

Reviews (4)

Arm Yourself With Knowledge!
This book is a must have for foster parents, adoptive parents, & professionals. Yes, some of it gets very tedious & dry, & the editing is horrendous; but...there is a lot of value here. Not only does the author give explanations, activities, & study based back-up, but she also walks you through her chapters with several case studies. This helps the reader to better apply the knowledge they are absorbing.

One reviewer mentioned their disgust for the author's mention of holding therapy. I have to agree with that reviewer, but keep in mind that this book was written in 1996...BEFORE holding therapy had gotten much attention & caused a public outcry.

This book is both interesting & informative, & I highly recommend it to anyone with an interest in special needs children..

Excellent
A must read in the field, a really excellent book.A must read for parents who want to help children build healthy attachments, really helped with my situation.

Disappointing
Although this book is recommended by many as a standard work in the field, I personally found it unreliable and uneven.

Fahlberg focuses on attachment to the exclusion of all other special needs and developmentaltasks, and recommends techniques (such as "holding therapy")which many experts on attachment have criticized as harmful and evenabusive. I found her account of separation issues to be much less sensitiveand thoughtful than that of Claudia Jewett ("Helping Children Copewith Separation and Loss"), for example.

There is almost noreference to organic mental or physical disabilities, except for outdatedreferences to "schizophrenic children" dating from the1960s.

Reviews (7)

A must for every international adoptive family!
This resource will change the very lives and future of every parent and, more importantly, every child of every parent who uses it.It's foundation is the highlighting of strengths, acknowledging the resiliency of children and the growth that is possible for everyone involved in the endeavor of writing a lifebook for/with a child.It is positive in its approach, sensitive and obviously based on years of professional and personal experience.

Amust for every family who child has joined them through adoption internationally.

What a Great Find!
This book is incredibly readable and offers a wealth of information to parents.I love the format!Highly recommended!

Someone has finally done it!
As an adoption professional I see many parents who love their children but struggle with their child's life story. Many children have joined their adoptive families through difficult or challenging circumstances and this can be hard to balance with a parent's joy of welcoming their new family member. Some parents feel that creating a lifebook for their child will focus more on the unpleasant details. I also see children who have in their minds created their own "lifebook" with details that may not be true or accurate such as "my birth mother did not keep me because I was an ugly baby".

My suggestion is always that their child has already lived this part of their life and would it not be helpful to have these memories written down in a way that the child can better understand them. It is a remarkable process to watch as a child reads their lifebook for the first time and realizes how decisions were made for them or what the circumstances of their adoption were. Each of their smiles and sighs are etched in my memory forever. They finally have a memory and a story that is their own!

Reviews (15)

Buying my 2nd copy
This is a great book - of course I recommended and loaned it to a friend who then recommended and loaned it to another friend.Now I'm buying a second copy, because I'm sure the first is being put to good use by someone else.

Very helpful to adoptive parents
As with some other great adoption books on the market, I wish this one had existed when our child was small. She is now 34 years old and a mother, and I still wish to create a lifebook for/with her using O'Malley's wonderful guide. But it's never too late! I will make sure that my friends, who have adopted children, will have a copy of this delightful book.

Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

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Asin: B00006K1V7
Sales Rank: 272
Subjects:  1. Family & Parenting    2. Family & Parenting   

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Reviews (3)

A Must Have Magazine
Adoptive Families is a must have magazine for families created through adoption. I am currently waiting to travel to China to get my daughter, but I have already found this magazine to be invaluable.The great things is that all kinds of adoption are discussed, domestic, open, international. It is reassuring to know that there are so many other families that were created through adoption. You know you are not alone in what you are going through too. The advertising is great too!

Adoptive Families Magazine has Opened My Mind's Doors
When I received my first issue of Adoptive Families Magazine,
I could not wait to read it! It felt great to feel connected to
many of the writer's stories. My husband and I are waiting for our first American,adopted newborn and this magazine continues to educate us on the adoption process. I recognize a few of the magazine's writers and advisory committee members attending their lectures and through books they have written. Also, there are diverse viewpoints and laws that appear to be changing due to this network. After months researching adoption, I feel the adoption community in America is a kind of family and just beginning to grow.

Essential and enjoyable reading for adoptive parents
If you're an adoptive parent, you need to subscribe to Adoptive Families, which includes practical parenting advice, stories about or by adoptive parents, news on the latest federal and state laws, discussions of common problems, and so much more. Adoptive Families is also an important resource for people who are planning to adopt their first child (or second, third, and so on).

I've been a subscriber for years, and strongly recommend this publication.

Reviews (37)

Surprise Recommendations
I walked into a bookstore with a collegue looking for a book on parenting.Being the parent of two current teens and two eventual teens, I am always seeking to understand them and finding ways to be a better parent.However when I told my collegue what I was looking for he recommended "Bonds That Make Us Free" and when I asked the young clerk if they carried the book, she said she read it herself and that it helped her strengthen her friendships.

I was thoroughly pleased with the book.The most powerful concept I learned was about self-deception, and how it can define who we are and the decisions we make.The book is filled with many, many short examples to help understand the principles being taught which I found extremely helpful.

This is not a simple feel-good book.I loaned the book to an older friend of mine and she had a hard time understanding it all.I read a few of the stories to my wife and she had a hard time appreciating the significance of the principles through my explanations.You have to be committed to reading and understanding the book to get everything out of it.Mind you, these are not faults with the book -- like any significant breakthrough in understanding it requires work on the reader's part to think about the principles being taught and honestly assessing your own behavior, and then applying the principles to your life.

For anyone seriously interested in improving their own personal happiness I highly recommend this book.It's one of the bst self-help books I've ever read.

Can change your outlook on life
This book can change your outlook on life if you will let it.It is a wonderful book full of stories and examples that will help you understand how you can be a better person.Some related books that are produced by people or companies associated with Terry Warner:

1. The Peacemaker: this book preaches the same philosophy but bases the learning on scriptures and the atonement of Christ - excellent read, highly recommended.

2. Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute:Same story format as the Peacemaker but from a business perspective.

All are great reads, but Bonds That Make Us Free is the masterpiece.

Other books that have changed my life:

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck - great insights on how to improve yourself

Approaching Zion by Hugh Nibley - a classic that will have you questioning modern society's basic premises.